Pillars of Salt and Pillars of Sand

[fae_boleyn]

So, I just spent the better part of the last two hours tracking down info on Libya to condense into an info page for tomorrow's radio show broadcast. And... I don't even know. I think I just found the downside to being a journalist, that's for damn sure.

It's the same feeling I had last week, when I was hunting down the latest on Japan. I mean, I'm thrilled in a way, one that I can't entirely explain. But for years now, every major crisis, my head has been split between feeling terrible for the people involved and wishing desperately that I was old enough and qualified enough to cover it myself. I didn't realize before how wrenching it can be, and I'm just gathering info from news sources and putting it together.

I wish that there was something I could actually do. You know, something besides typing stuff up for the hosts of the show to read out tomorrow and discuss while I work the sound board and make sure everyone actually hears what they have to say. Of course, part of me wishes I could join in the conversation, but that again is a product of what seems to be my split consciousness. I have ambition, and I have my dreams, and I don't feel guilty about that. But I don't think it really occurred to me, deep down, the stuff I'm going to have to work with.

This is the start, and I'm going to have to get used to it. Because when I'm actually out there it's going to be a lot harder. I just have to remember that this is doing something, I'm not just a helpless observer anymore. I think maybe that can be enough, or I certainly hope so anyway.

Comments

[hungerpunch.livejournal.com]

I wish that there was something I could actually do. uhg welcome to my life on the daily. i hate feeling this way :( but it's like you said, even though your research & work will be difficult to stomach sometimes, what you're doing is actually doing something to help. that's what you should hold in focus. <333 i wish you good luck bb.

[fae-boleyn.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :D *hugs*