The Lady In The Tower

So, if you're at my journal, then you probably know that I am, primarily, a fanfiction writer. You might not know, however, that I want to write origfic. (Granted, I think a lot of fanwriters dream of actually being a writer themselves.) I went into journalism because I enjoy it, but also because... Well... I thought it was more practical than pursuing writing.

I'm not so sure now.

Seems like the odds of success in both fields are stacked against you, and if I'm being honest with myself, I have a passion for fiction that surpasses all my other passions, including my journalistic one. My history passion keeps wanting to dovetail with it - the trick there is that I want to write a Tudor-era novel. I do not want to write about Anne Boleyn, who has had way too much exposure - so has Katherine of Aragon - and though I understand why this is true, it irks me. The fall of Katherine/rise of Anne and then Anne's fall are high drama, after all. I'm considering writing about my own favorite Queen, Katherine Parr, which will take considerable time. Especially tracking down resources on her.

That isn't the only problem. And here's where my subject line comes in. Because I've got something in the back of my mind. A modern-era fantasy of some kind, in which magicals come in three flavors (well, three human flavors), and the three groups aren't fans of each other. And I have a pair of twins, Natalie and Nathaniel. Whoever named them in-verse thought the matching was "cute". This is subject to change. They run a magic shop. I know that Nathaniel is gay and Natalie is straight. I know that they're bastards (in the literal sense, they are born out of wedlock), that they're mixed blood of two of the magical types, and I know that their father is a mage. The mages have a court, and he is high-ranking. I know the basics of their world, but I don't want to go into too much detail here.

I don't seem to have a plot yet. I guess all I can do for now is keep letting it sit there, and hope it develops further - the concept of the three types of magic popped into my head on a bus trip, more or less fully formed, after all - but this is decidedly frustrating.

So, I've been rather absent on LJ and Twitter lately, I do apologize. I've been drifting around the Internet but not being very sociable, that's very hermit-like of me. I should be on Twitter more, we shall see how it goes.

( In which there is news and vague brooding )

On to this meme, for once not jacked from anyone, I'm starting it though I am sure that someone else has done it.

List five ways in which fandom, specific or general, has invaded real life for you.
( Here be my answers! )

So, ever since I started college, and even before, I've desperately wanted to study abroad, preferably in London. Actually, it's always been London that I focused on.

Practically... I don't think it's going to happen. I changed my goal from a semester to six weeks in the summer, but even so... I haven't entirely given up hope; there's scholarships and things so maybe I still have a shot if I do my research right, but a big part of me is thinking it's just not going to happen.

I'll get there one day, it just might not be during college.

And speaking of college... I go to school in my second hometown - by which I mean, I wasn't born in this city but I've lived here or in its suburbs for half my life now, and I identify even more strongly with this place, after all that time. I don't regret it; I love my school and I love seeing the Philly skyline every day because I love this city.

But when I was a kid, up until about midway through high school, I dreamed of New York. I wanted to go to college there so badly, I wanted to live there. I know I'm not alone in this, but still. And now, the school I belong to here at my university has started a new summer program. They had another domestic one - L.A., and I was considering it - but now they have one in New York City.

When God closes a door he opens a window? I think that's a good saying to keep in mind even if you're not religious; a reminder that even if one chance slips away there's always something else good if you look right.

Maybe this program is my new window. Or maybe the door's not closed and locked yet, and London's still something I have a shot at. But if I don't... There's a lot good about the chance to work in New York. In some ways, for my resume, it might even be better.

We'll see what I can manage, shall we?

So yesterday I came home from school so I could work this weekend, and there's new clothes in my closet. New clothes like, business attire. New clothes like two pantsuits and a dress-suit (I guess it's called that since it's a blue dress and a suit jacket, rather than a skirt). Anyway, I tried them on and while they didn't all fit perfectly, well... Um...

Yeah, I'm still a bit unsettled. Because they didn't look bad. I mean, suddenly I look five years more mature (probably good since my height counts against me there if nothing else) and they actually looked pretty good, like the colors and the fit and whatnot, but, well... Ah fuck, I'm twenty years old, I don't feel old enough to be wearing freaking suits yet! It just felt strange, because I looked nice, but I didn't look a thing like me. I guess that's the point, and I'll get used to it and all, but at the moment I'm still just a tad weirded out by it all.

And then there's my writing. All these various ideas tumbling in my head, my issue is now a very different kind of writer's block. Namely, figuring out where to go first. Because I've got multiple options. The handful of pre-canon SPN things I can do (and it seems Good Omens is firmly lodging itself back in that universe; American Gods already claimed a tiny niche), my Tudor stuff, the various Inception fics, Hetalia if I can get myself to wake that one up, and my X-Men BB.

Of course, I really should be shifting the X-Men BB to top priority, seeing as the rough drafts are due Septemper 26. We'll see how that plan goes, is what I'm thinking.

Well, there's tomorrow, once I'm back at school, and then Monday is Labor Day (for the non-Americans on my flist, it's a holiday for us, so no classes). Let's see if I can get shit done, shall we?

Also, my 'various types of thinking' emoticats tilt their heads. I have Castiel-emoticats. Huh. This was not intentional, no angels were harmed in the making of? Something like that.

Interesting day yesterday, overall. Earthquake, my first real business call... A most untypical Tuesday.


In contrast, Wednesday has been depressingly typical. However, I've given more thought to my eventual SPN fic, and... I've more or less decided screwing around with the latter bit of S6 is going to lead to melodrama however the hell I slice it. But then I thought, if season 5 didn't end how it did, season 6 would have been different. And then I thought of something else, something having a lot to do with my newfound love for brotherly love type of fics between a certain trench-coat-wearing angel and a certain candy-loving runaway archangel.


I've never AUed anything from a thousand years pre-canon before. I feel that, considering my tendency toward creating AUs, I should rectify this. ;) However, if anyone here who is more familiar with SPN than me has some suggestions, I would love to hear them.



In terms of my other work, I'm not giving up on it, not even close. I'm always slow in summer.

I need to get ahold of Good Omens. I do have a PDF on my computer, so I can read that I guess, but PDF reading is tedious as all get out. I should know; I did it recently with Pride and Prejudice as well as several school textbooks. Which won't stop me from seeking free PDFs of my textbooks for this semester; saving money is good, but when reading for fun... My library doesn't have it, though they did have Anansi Boys. I can forgive them a little.


But seriously. I was reading the PDF until I got irritated with the format, and now I desperately want either a hard copy or a Kindle copy - oh, wait, Kindle didn't have it last time I checked. That was why I ended up with American Gods. (I'm noticing a pattern here.) Sigh. And sigh again. At this rate the PDF's looking better and better, to be honest. (And from looking at the cover page on the PDF, with Aziraphale and Crowley, I cannot get the image of Max Brown playing Aziraphale out of my head. He... may not be blond enough, but even so. Help!)


On other topics, I'm writing again. slowly but surely. I've tinkered with the Inception genderbend and the OT3 wedding fic. My plan to set off the start of a new school year right is to spend the weekend (once I've moved) in alternating between immersion in various canons and then writing in them. I may also borrow the freewriting strategy from NCIS' Timothy McGee. If that happens, I do not know what I will come out with and in what fandom, but I'll certainly be nice and share it.


I'm working on chapter 15 of Standing Outside the Fire, and for anyone who actually knows/cares about the Tudors, you'll understand the significance when I say I'm writing my version of late 1.08 into 1.09, also known as the Blackfriars Trial stuff. For those not in the know... This is a milestone. It's a tense situation and it's making me tense when I write it. But I'm enjoying it; as I recently discovered when the sheer level of angst in Supernatural fic had me seeking shelter, court intrigues are apparently my happy place/comfort zone. I'm sure this says something about me, I'm just... not sure what. Also, this fic, which began partly as a fusion between three challenges on the Tudors forum, has now added elements of a fourth in the 1536 arc. Dear God, what am I doing to myself?


Speaking of Supernatural, I need more canon immersion, but... I have a feeling I'm not going to leave Adam in Hell or Gabriel dead. Adam because that's just not fair, can't that kid catch a break? Gabriel... Um. I really, really like him. I probably shouldn't. But I do. (Also he's cute. Speaking of cute, and back to Adam, I remember Jake Abel from the Percy Jackson movie as well... When between his appearances there and in Supernatural did he grow into his face and get cute?) I will need to find out how to have the Winchesters meeting human!Castiel after about three years (in which I think they believed he was dead) without too much freaking melodrama because I don't like melodrama.


Back to things actually written, my X-Men BB is slowly coming along. I'm having trouble getting to Points B and C from A, mostly because I know what happens from C to F (or something like that) but before then is a little murky. My Inception fic doesn't seem to want to do much, but as I said, I'm hoping a movie rewatch and maybe reading some fic because I haven't in a while will get the juices flowing again. My Hetalia fics seem to be stalled, I need to do something about that as well.


The trick is to not kill any of my muses while trying to revive others. Oh, and there will be school and quite possibly an internship as well. This is going to be an interesting time, isn't it? And I'll be 21 this November; drinking age here in the States. I'm not sure I care as drinking is not much of a thing for me, but... Still.



Hey, at least the Phillies are number one in the NL East. :D I may or may not have a bit of a thing for newcomer pitcher Vance Worley. And his adorkable glasses. And the mohawk, which usually I don't like. *ponders*

Meme from anatsuno:

Post a comment, and I will reply with one or two reasons why I think you're great. In return, you have to post this same meme on your blog and comment for other people.

So, I just spent the better part of the last two hours tracking down info on Libya to condense into an info page for tomorrow's radio show broadcast. And... I don't even know. I think I just found the downside to being a journalist, that's for damn sure.

It's the same feeling I had last week, when I was hunting down the latest on Japan. I mean, I'm thrilled in a way, one that I can't entirely explain. But for years now, every major crisis, my head has been split between feeling terrible for the people involved and wishing desperately that I was old enough and qualified enough to cover it myself. I didn't realize before how wrenching it can be, and I'm just gathering info from news sources and putting it together.

I wish that there was something I could actually do. You know, something besides typing stuff up for the hosts of the show to read out tomorrow and discuss while I work the sound board and make sure everyone actually hears what they have to say. Of course, part of me wishes I could join in the conversation, but that again is a product of what seems to be my split consciousness. I have ambition, and I have my dreams, and I don't feel guilty about that. But I don't think it really occurred to me, deep down, the stuff I'm going to have to work with.

This is the start, and I'm going to have to get used to it. Because when I'm actually out there it's going to be a lot harder. I just have to remember that this is doing something, I'm not just a helpless observer anymore. I think maybe that can be enough, or I certainly hope so anyway.

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Hmm. I don't know what ways I would want my double to differ, but I know of various ways in which she could. There have been a few points in my life that could have changed me considerably. If I never moved from my original hometown, for one thing. I'd be drastically different and I know that. Or the reverse, if my mom had left my dad right after I was born and I spent my entire childhood in Philly (most likely). There was also the almost-move to San Diego with my father's work when I was seven. That one always inspires terrifying thoughts of myself as the stereotypical Californian. (Note to any CA readers, that is not an insult to real Californians, although the stereotype itself might be.)

I figure the version who never left the small town wouldn't have the same sarcastic bent or vaguely twisted mental processes, and quite likely would never have found fanfic, since I was introduced to it after I moved. That thought makes me sad. The version who grew up in Philly... Well, she'd be so utterly different I can't even say for sure. Probably no interest in sci-fi or fantasy, though, maybe not even nearly as much of a bookworm. That all did begin with my father's influence, after all. They might be simpler girls, less vaguely messed up, but who knows?

I think I like myself as I am best, dents and all. (And if you read my post this morning, you'll notice I'm feeling better now. Thank God.)